The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Thursday, March 19, 2009

STUDY HALL: The Constant Fear of Steve Julius Googling His Own Name is Worse Than Puberty

I google myself, I'll admit it. It slakes my curiosity. It gives me an idea of my genetic, or at least name-onic, competition. It's how I've been able to delete some of the more damning indictments of my character lurking around the interwebs.

Which is why I have no doubt that some time, some day, Steve Julius will come across this site.

What will he do? Will he contact me? Will he tell all the people that weren't my friends in middle and high school, because I wasn't cool enough, that I'm some sort of crazy freak? Will he press charges?

Will he…oh god…never have a crush on me back, never ever ever?

On the plus side, my apparently unending fascination with the boy that made 7th grade TOTALLY omg like, WHOA, has given me…material?

Oh god, he's probably googling right now.

-Posted by Jilly
at 12:43 AM
Labels: , ,

2 comments:

  1. KarlaMarch 19, 2009 at 6:34 PM

    Google - do your worst!!! We are not afraid of your powers!! Let all who come here know of our symbolic crush on 8th grader Steve Julius!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JillyMarch 19, 2009 at 8:40 PM

    Yes, I shout it to the four winds: Steve Julius is TOTALLY cool. And SOOOOO cute. And FUNNNY!!!!! At least he was back in 8th grade...

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)