The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Friday, May 8, 2009

DEBATE TEAM: ARE THESE THINGS WORSE THAN PUBERTY?

1.) Seriously considering signing up for tickets to a taping of the Tyra Show.

2.) Eating so many overly-salted Tostitos chips in one sitting that your lips swell to three times their normal size.

3.) Wondering if you can somehow use this new information about your lips adverse reaction to Tostitos to get the Angelina pout you've always dreamed of.

4.) Realizing that even though you literally do absolutely nothing to your hair besides wash it on occasion, it's still way to much upkeep for you.

5.) The fact that the current reigning Miss California has involved herself in about 10 completely different scandals within a month and that her future involves a tell-all book, a spot on The View and a likely foray into porn.


6.) The fact that being the "best" young woman America has to offer these days includes free breast implants.

7.) When amazing actors completely betray your sense of their intelligence with truly horrendous movies that can't be explained with a "but it's a blockbuster"-card.

8.) Dan Brown (author of the DaVinci code).

9.) Having Sam Waterston, of Law and Order, on your "if I do him it's okay" list with the boyfriend.

10.) Adult incontinence.

2 comments:

  1. I don't agree with #1. Not only did I consider getting tickets to a live taping of the Tyra show, but I DID get on- maybe you never knew this about me. Interestingly enough, the show's topic was about puberty related body image problems with Jenny McCarthy as the guest. Sorry to challenge your logic, but how can witnessing the difficulties of puberty from the Tyra Banks show audience be considered WORSE than puberty itself? I think Karla is just bitter because she got teased during puberty by everyone around her for having a Tyra forehead. But you know what? Tyra would NEVER tease you like that. She knows women's foreheads come in all shapes and sizes and are beautiful no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps because you were so quick to rush to cast judgment you did not accurately consider why #1 is worse than puberty. The key concept here is that one would feel such a strong desire to be a part of the Tyra Show they would take the time out of their day to go and risk being shown on-air in a close up - publicly linking them with the content of the show. That is very different than watching a Tyra Show from the privacy of one's home which is not worse than puberty.

    ReplyDelete