SCIENCE: Unexpectedly Sitting in Something Wet is Worse than Puberty

Geez it's been a long day, you just can't wait to get home, peel off your real "shoes" and fascist "pants" and kick up your feet in front of some lifetime originals.

Hey, things are looking up! There's a seat on your train/bus route, so you won't have to tediously "exercise" your body anymore with all that standing!

You plop in, grateful that god isn't ALWAYS against you, and then...

...okay, there's probably not a cartoon "sploosh," but there is the sensation of coldness (oh god you'd better hope it's coldness), then the sneaking suspicion traveling down your legs, up over your butt, and then the horrible, soul-crushing, nasty revelation...

You just sat in unidentified wetness.

Now nine times out of ten, speaking as a woman who doesn't love commuting in the rain, these little 'pleasure puddles' are probably run off from an errant rain-protection device, the trickles off tines of a leopard-umbrella, the runoff from a stiff slicker.

But there's no way of knowing.

And there's always that tenth time out of ten.

Sure, a leaky water-bottle, or a spilled Sprite makes sense, but...

...what if it's PEE???

If you're me, you're always convinced it's pee, because, well...have you seen some of the folks who ride the train? And then, instead of your carefully constructed vision of night-time relaxation, you're spending the rest of your evening washing everything you wore individually, and rocking back and forth on the shower floor, underneath the scalding downpour, muttering "it won't come clean, it won't come CLEAN."

All because of a shiny finish on a subway seat.

-Posted by Jilly