SOCIAL STUDIES: The Constant Borrower is Worse than Puberty

You may have first encountered this character in high school, but you almost definitely met her in college.

"Hey, do you mind if I wear your black shirt tonight? The sleeveless one? I'll be totally careful with it."

And you say yes – after all, you had sisters and close girlfriends before. You've made the awkward joke to break the ice with your roommate, about how OMG you have double the wardrobe, now! You went to kindergarten, with a major in sharing. Basically, you know how this thing works – when someone asks nicely to borrow something that you don't need at the moment, unless there's good reason, you agree, preferably with a smile.

Eight and a half times out of ten, your "mine!" impulse is the only problem with the exchange – the shirt, or hair thing, or makeup comes back, not covered in filth, disease, or holes, or if you lent beer, or food, or whatever else, it's replaced.

But then there's that one-and-a-half-th time.

"Oh, yeah, I don't know where that went. I'll check my laundry."

"Actually, I gave that back to you already."

"Well it's not my fault that we went paintballing, I mean, that was the plan."

"Oh my god, who cares, it was only one gourmet cake."

This is frustrating enough, of course, since your only recourse is to sound like a whiny pre-tween or to just suck it up, neither of which are appealing options. But the real vinegar in your paper cut is when you don't have anything in your closet/refrigerator and decide to go talk to friend.

"I don't really feel comfortable lending that out."

"I think it's sort of presumptuous for you to ask me for the jeans that I wear all the time."

"I want that yogurt for later."

What can you do? You're paralyzed by your own good upbringing, even the next time they come in, stick their grubby fist into your jar of nuts, and ask for that one headband you have, and maybe a tank top to match? And, biting your tongue almost in half, your fingernails digging into the butts of your hands, you hear yourself respond.

"Oh, sure, just wash it before you bring it back."

-Posted by Jilly