The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

HOME EC/SHOP: Being Raised Morally is Worse than Puberty

So I found a wallet on the street in front of me today.

Bear in mind that I'm considering whether or not the moral obligation for me to never, EVER take government assistance is competing against the knowledge that, if I just bothered to fill out an application, I would probably qualify for food stamps.

And yet, despite this, despite the cash inside, despite the fact that said cash was probably not even NEAR being fully accounted for, which I know because the 'wallet' was actually a woven-by-a-'hopi'-but-actually-made-in-china-style hippie's-favorite-souvenir get-up I...

...dug through until I found identifying information I could turn into a potential contact, followed through on that (using one of my limited text messages to do so, I might add), and set up a meeting time/place, not at my apartment and thus not particularly convenient, to return it.

Sometimes wouldn't it be nice to just do what actually benefits you, and not what benefits your sense of what sort of person you OUGHT to be?

...yeah, I wouldn't know, either.

-Posted by Jilly

2 comments:

  1. I once returned a wallet I found on the street to a nearby police station and got harassed and practically had my fingerprints taken because they thought maybe I had stolen it. Next time, I'm keeping that guy's $12 and VIP membership card to a local Gentleman's Club. Take that law!

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