MATH: Getting in Fights with Siblings over Relative Income is Worse than Puberty

Holidays roll around with predictable regularity...Christmas, birthdays, and right around the corner, Mother's Day.

Which means, after the age of ten or twelve, once it's no longer acceptable to run over to Walgreens and pick up "Designer Imposter" perfumes and lotions, that you have to find something that your mom will ACTUALLY like. Barring that, a bouquet of flowers, real or 'edibly arranged,' will probably run you about $50 or so before delivery fees, and that's just a jumping-off point, acceptable if you don't mind looking a little chintzy because, after all, the woman gave birth to you, and you can't even get the full bouquet with the long-stemmed roses?

Which means that, if you're lucky enough to have siblings, these holidays are great opportunities to share the burden of finding something expensive enough to show real love, while still being functional for a now middle-aged mother who probably has more than everything she really needs, all she wants is just a card, sweetie, and a phone call!

But inevitably you and your siblings get together and decide to send flowers, or champagne, or some such mom-is-special gift, and one of you, usually the oldest, and thus likely most-viably-employed, decides to do the sending and sign all your names.

And then you get the phone call. The "hey, there, just wanted to let you know that the wine-of-the-month club subscription I got comes to $400, but I know that I make more, so if you and other sibling just give me $125 each, I'll cover $150"

You could protest that you guys didn't actually all agree to the six-month subscription, but that just sounds cheap - it's for your mother, after all. Or you could just try to put off paying with a well-placed "oh sure, I'll get it to you soon," and hope that, this being the well-off sibling, s/he'll eventually forget about it, but then, inevitably, s/he'll remember the very month that you've already run up hundreds of dollars worth of unnecessary woot.com purchases, and really press you for it since, "for god's sake, s/he's waited long enough."

And so, inevitably, the only thing you have left in your arsenal is just "Sibling, it's just that I didn't expect it to be so much; I really don't make enough for that kind of gift."

And since the gift is already purchased, it devolves into the back-and-forth of who makes what and what you can really afford, and whether or not you budget appropriately, and what's fair.

And you finally realize that, as unfair as it may seem, you just have to suck it up and not eat for a month so that you can get off the phone already, despite the fact that older sibling could send you a single one of his/her lunches, or the cost thereof, and you'd be able to manage just fine.

Unless, of course, there's a Walgreens nearby...then you could just avoid all this trouble in the first place...

-Posted by Jilly