SCIENCE: Hangovers that Last Longer than a Day are Worse than Puberty

It's Tuesday today.

I'm still hungover from Saturday night.

Now strictly speaking, this isn't really true. I'm a bit tuckered out, but that could have as much to do with the continuing gloomy days that are starting to confuse my body fundamentally, on the level of its circadian rhythms, the 15-day working streak with 1 day off, and the sort of general laziness that I cultivate as often as possible.

But Monday morning it was for real.

The truly tragic thing is that Saturday,  while I definitely partook, it was over the course of perhaps 8 hours, and amounted to something like 5 drinks, maybe 6. Yes, this is a decent amount of booze to put into a human body. But technically, my body is supposed to be able to process that amount of booze in...about that amount of time. Drinking water used to be enough to handle more drinks in half the time. I drank water for the last couple hours, and followed Lady Gaga's "dancing" cure, and still, come Monday, I felt as though some small animal crawled inside my head and stomach, scratched around excessively, and then died.

As you age, does your body just decide to punish you no matter how much you attempt to take care of it? Is any amount of "letting loose" met with pain? Is some highish power trying to convince everyone to come to god by doling out biblical punishments for religious sins?

I'd make stupid claims like "I'll never drink again," but I know that's just untrue. But you better believe I'm gonna start caring less and less about the fact that if you take Tylenol while still boozing, followed by Aleve just before bed, and a dose or two of Ibuprofen the moment you wake up, it's doing for your liver what a steady diet of deep-fried ribeyes does for your heart...

...but I'll be feeling like a million bucks...and zero drinks!

-Posted by Jilly