The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Friday, April 10, 2009

DEBATE TEAM: Are These Things Worse Than Puberty?

1.) Realizing that, at 24, Cybill Shepard looks better than you. No, not Cybill Shepard at 24 looks better than you, Cybill Shepard NOW looks better than you do, though you're 24.


2.) Knowing the closest you'll ever get to fame is that one time you saw Oliver Platt eating at Pastis (yes Karla, this happened to me - jealous?)


3.) Going to the grocery store and buying 6 kinds of dinner rolls and a bottle of wine. WOOO Friday. (this ALSO happened to me. Today.)


4.) Reading a book about sideshow acts from the early 1900s and finding yourself slightly jealous of people who made a living off not having arms...


5.) Not fitting in your boyfriend's pants. (this is tragically true of me)


6.) Forget your boyfriend’s pants, not fitting into your own pants. (this is tragically true of ME)


7.) Eating so many Sour Patch Kids in one sitting that you burn off your taste buds and have a swollen, irritated tongue for 2 days.


8.) The sound wet sneakers make on marble floors and being the person responsible for it.


9.) Getting a calendar as a birthday present from someone very close to you.


10.) Getting a calendar as a birthday present from someone close to you because it was on sale and the person thought “hey, it’s a great price for a calendar.”

at 9:31 AM
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3 comments:

  1. Jilly GagnonApril 10, 2009 at 8:58 PM

    Ummm, just sayin, I can get calendars for FREE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. GiseleApril 11, 2009 at 4:47 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownApril 11, 2009 at 4:53 AM

    Is this a reference to the two desk-sized calendars I ordered for you from Staples Clearance from an anonymous sender because they didn't offer gift notes for calendar orders?

    For the record, I didn't order them because they were on clearance, I ordered them because Staples has free last-minute delivery.

    Did you NOT say that your roommates were jealous and thought they were a good idea(s)?

    And if you are accusing me of being stingy for getting a good value, how about the fact that I got two? A stingy sister would have insisted on one.

    What is worse than puberty is non-appreciative gift recipient.

    ReplyDelete

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