HOME EC/SHOP: The Laundromat is Worse than Puberty

There are many indignities to be faced upon entering adulthood, particularly if, like me, you still have jobs usually filled by sixteen year-olds.

One of the worst of those many reasons that the world will eventually beat you down is the laundromat.

First, you round everything up, and, inevitably, only realize that one-half of each pair of socks ended up under the corner of the couch when you come BACK, hours later.

Actually, very first, you make sure you have the entire day free, since you'll either be spending it sitting in a cement-box building full of rattling noises, large women speaking languages in which you aren't fluent, and boxed, dry laundry soap vending-machines with brands that haven't existed since 1972 tucked inside, OR you'll be taking the very real risk that some creep will steal your varying-degrees-of-dirty underwear.

So there goes your day off.

But it gets worse. The laundromat I used to go to had all-new machines, loads of them, all of them with their energy-star stickers still intact, their fronts still gleaming and perfect despite near-constant use by a slew of randos.

And yet somehow, despite trying multiple different machines, despite using extra detergent, despite...I don't know, shouldn't washing just do itself? Despite all this, I'd open up the washing machine after every load and smell...farts.

Seriously, pouring out of the machine, this rotten-egg smell, every. time.

My clothes didn't always smell farty, at least I don't think they did - though maybe I was so acclimated to it that I didn't know - but the experience always involved the fear that this time the dryer wouldn't work its magic, and also, of course, the smell of farts.

And then there's the getting of quarters, or, inevitably, only having a $20 bill to make change with when you realize you failed to get any. And there's the awkwardness of the lugging. And there's the sickening realization that, as you hop into the shower that evening, throwing your underwear into the hamper, it's all going to have to happen again...

and again...

and again...

-Posted by Jilly