EXTRA-CURRICULARS: Not Being Carded is Worse than Puberty

Remember those days when you were counting down the very seconds until you were legal, carrying around a picture of a girl who didn't even look vaguely like you because after all, it was a real id, at least, and maybe you just stopped being Asian since they took that photo at the DMV. It should totally get you into this club. Buying booze was a big event, going to the bar was even bigger, and every time a bouncer wanted to check who was legal, you almost threw up you got so nervous (or maybe that was just the pre-gaming).

Then there's the early twenties, the first year or so after you're allowed into the society of better-booze-than-karkoff, when showing your legal id was kinda fun, a novelty, still a little nerve-wracking, because what if they don't believe it now, when it's finally real? Wouldn't that suck?

And then you enter the next phase, the phase where you're never, ever carded.

If you thought you wanted them to ask on your birthday, trust me, it's nothing compared to wanting them to ask just to prove that you don't look so far removed from youth that there's not even a question in anyone's mind, anymore. I'm only 25, guys, don't I look like I'm maybe only just 18? Okay, only just shy of 21? Okay, can't you just stroke my ego a little?


I can't say I approve of the method, but I am starting to understand the motivation behind not-dressing-your-age. After all, if the bouncer is so busy trying to see whether or not he can get a peek of under-ass sneaking out the bottom of your schoolgirl skirt, he's probably not looking you over closely enough to say to himself "yup, definitely over-age. Way, WAY overage..."

-Posted by Jilly