LANGUAGES: Trying to Actually Communicate with your Mother is Worse than Puberty

Recently I had a phone conversation with my mom about a gift idea she'd thought up for Christmas.

"What about snow boots? I know they're not 'fun,' but they're the sort of thing you're happy to have around when you need them, you know?"

"That's a great idea, mom, where were you thinking of getting them?"

"Well I saw a pair in the Land's End catalogue that looked reasonably cute."

"Does it say they're waterproof? Because the thing here is that so much of the street is pitted that there are big puddles, especially in winter, that might be like a foot deep, and you step in by accident and you're ankle-deep."

"It says here they're...'water-resistant.'"

"Yeah, I think those are probably not a good option - 'water-resistat' probably means they'll soak through by the time I walk anywhere - they need to be rubber, like galoshes, and say waterproof, because otherwise it'll probably be a waste of money."

"Oh." (note: here there is a distinct cooling of tone).

"But I think it's a great idea - that's the sort of gift I want, something practical that I need but don't want to spend money on for myself. I just think if you're going to do it, and spend a good amount of money on it, you should get a pair that will be legitimately water-proof is all."

"Mmm."

And at this point the conversation cooled noticeably for a solid 5 minutes.

Why is it that mothers need to be hurt by you EVER saying their idea wasn't spot-on? Is that just my mother? Whenever I try to speak calmly, honestly, and in an "I know we're both adults here, now, so how about we just say what we mean" fashion, I end up either regretting it or hearing an echo from where my words are bouncing off a stone wall.

Add it to the ever-growing list of "why I don't think I should have kids." Because I know, if it were me, I'd probably be irrationally hurt, too. Damn parents and their lasting influence, even when you actively wish you could act differently than they do...

-Posted by Jilly