Today I went to Marshall's to get a pair of gym shoes. Being the good multi-tasker that I am, I first stopped off at the supermarket to pick up the ingredients for a dip that I plan to bring with me to a New Year's Eve party, planning my route so that I'd waste the least time possible.
Until, that is, the moment when, wanting to try on my shoes one more time, I set down my bag of groceries on the floor, hard.
Too hard.
So hard that I shattered the jar of red peppers sitting at the bottom.
Immediately a puddle of pepper juice started to leak through my "green" bag and onto the floor of the shoe aisle, smelling tantalizing and looking like diarrhea. Thinking fast, I stuck my hand into the bag to remove the offending jar, and place it in a nearby trash bin.
Not only did this action result in me splattering the shoes I was buying, as well as a pair of nearby Uggs-knockoffs, with juice (okay, with the Uggs-alike, it may have been intentional), I completely sliced open my finger.
Of course I didn't KNOW I'd sliced open my finger until, sitting down a few feet away as the Marshall's crew dealt with the results of my idiocy, I set the Marshall's bag they'd given me to encase my own dripping affair on the ground and noticed that the handle was smeared and streaked with a red too dark to be pepper-related.
Awesome.
On my trip through Shaw's to buy ANOTHER jar of peppers, the cut started bleeding through the band-aid that the Marshall's crew had dug up for the idiot. I hung my head in shame, and stuffed the hand into my glove. It couldn't cover my failure, but at least I could keep from messing yet another aisle of unsuspecting consumer goods.
-Posted by Jilly
Thursday, December 31, 2009
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