The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Thursday, February 4, 2010

P.E.: Heidi Klum's Beauty Even through Pregnancy is Worse than Puberty

There are plenty of women out there who are normally stunning. 2/3 of young Hollywood, for example.

But the one time that I can win, mentally, at least - because let's be honest, even that 1/3 at the bottom of the barrel are in a WAY better barrel than I'm ever even going to visit - is when the starlets are pregnant. Even a personal stylist, trainer, and chef can't make daily vomiting, swollen ankles, and a diet consisting of peanut-buttered-pickles look good.

I even had my moments of feeling superior to Catherine Zeta-Jones thanks to pregnancy.

But Heidi Klum? If I was up against her, she'd still be anyone's choice, no need for fetishistic interests, at month 8. She walks out on the runway in a skintight dress with a bulge that goes 3 ft deep and she still screams sex appeal. She probably makes morning sickness look good.

I've always known I was born under a lucky star, even given my current situation, but ladies like her...they must poop rabbits feet.

-Posted by Jilly
at 12:01 AM
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