2.) When your must-watch show for the week is "Millionaire Matchmaker."
3.) Seriously considering signing up as part of the "Millionaire Matchmaker" dating pool (on the poor side though, not as one of the millionaires).
4.) Having to pretend that you have actual professional goals in your life during job interviews or application essays.
5.) When the only professional goal you can come up with in life is "to be Oprah-rich."
6.) Poppy seeds between your teeth - why even sprinkle them on things? They're minefields!
7.) Books with the movie-still cover.
8.) How amazing Alec Baldwin is.
9.) Tastes that teeth-brushing can't eradicate.
10.) Knowing that, because you write incredibly black humor, your friends and family are often more uncomfortable than proud to see your bylines.
6.) Poppy seeds between your teeth - why even sprinkle them on things? They're minefields!
7.) Books with the movie-still cover.
8.) How amazing Alec Baldwin is.
9.) Tastes that teeth-brushing can't eradicate.
10.) Knowing that, because you write incredibly black humor, your friends and family are often more uncomfortable than proud to see your bylines.
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I see your poppy seeds and I raise you blueberry skins.
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