The Truth About This Special Time In Your Life

According to what we remember from pamphlets geared towards 6th-grade girls, puberty is regarded as one of the most awkward and scary stages in a person’s life. It’s a time of horrifying physical transformations, scary new feelings, and growing interest in activities that you are still not old enough to engage in legally. Common symptoms of puberty include: braces, frizzy hair, baby fat, having a crush on 8th grader Steve Julius, blinding body odor and lame extracurricular interests like the violin or Bedazzling.

However, if personal experience has taught us anything, it's that there are experiences in life far more awkward, scary and pathetic than puberty. Here is a list of things that are:


WORSE THAN PUBERTY

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

LUNCH PERIOD: Miso-induced Nausea is Worse than Puberty

When you're ill, there are a handful of foods that, despite your body's attempts to reject nearly everything you put into it, are still able to slip past the gatekeepers located around the epiglottis. These include, but are not necessarily limited to, 7UP, saltine crackers, and broth.

Miso soup is, essentially, broth (imagine using a soy-bouillon cube instead of chicken, and you'd have it). Not only should it not induce nausea, it should cure it from what I can tell. In its complete lack of substance, it is the equivalent of a soft fuzzy blanket for your digestive system.

So a bowl of miso resulting in not just nausea, but prolonged, mouth-watering-in-vomit-anticipation, movement hurts, but so does sitting, so God, what option do you even HAVE nausea?

Well, at the very least it seems unfair. At best, half-a-round with Gwyneth Paltrow's detox diet will now have lasting effects, sort of like an acid-flashback, every time I eat one of the "foods" I was allowed while on it

Wait a second. That sounds pretty "at worst" to me...

-Posted by Jilly.

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