What a DAY. All you want to do is get home, throw on something as offensively stupid as "How I Met Your Mother" (you're that tired!) and not think ever again.
A good side-dish to not thinking? A big bowl of snack food, equally mindlessly consumed.
But because you're so "healthy," you go for popcorn instead of a fattier alternative. See, you're good to your body.
But then, somewhere between a commercial with loads of little people that somehow should make you want Jack-in-the-Box and watching Doogie Howser get totally stuck in the closet while that OTHER couple goes at it - AWKWARD! - it happens. One little kernel when you're not paying attention is all it takes, and suddenly,
BAM.
You've got popcorn stuck in your teeth.
Now this seems like it shouldn't be such a big deal - I mean, just grab a toothpick, right? But popcorn's evil genius is the way it can split, and twist, and curl, working its way up between your gums so that even floss can't stop it.
Nothing you do can help now, though you'll pull at your mouth frantically, rooting around desperately, hoping to find a corner that you can get your nail under...
...and that's the end of your night of relaxation.
Of course popcorn-in-tooth isn't limited to popcorn; little tiny bits of chips are often offenders, as are steaky fibers, which fibers you'd only ever be eating at a business or social lunch or dinner - because otherwise why would you pay for steak - which means you have to attempt to fight this battle without anyone really noticing you claw desperately at your back left molars.
Food, I love you. I love you with an undying and abiding love. Can't you just return the favor?
-Posted by Jilly
Thursday, August 13, 2009
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I was down this road on Tuesday with the brown skin you find on almonds. Of course, I was at work when this happened, smiles galore, and nobody thought to tell me. Very pretty.
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